Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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