Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
