somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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