If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
