I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
