just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
