it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
