another moral hangover. fuck.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
