so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
