I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
