well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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