bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
