she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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