Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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