Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.

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(951): View more from California

Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.

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(314): View more from Missouri

no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?

(973): View more from New Jersey

it happened again.

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(512): View more from Texas

You're like the curious george of whores

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(419): View more from Ohio

Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS

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(260): View more from Indiana

He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.

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