i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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