Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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