this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
