How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
