if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
