We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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