Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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