Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
