I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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