i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
