A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
