Acid is not a monday night drug
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize