I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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