we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
