I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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