i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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