Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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