I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
