I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
