If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
His nipple licking is glorious
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