come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
