we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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