Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we made out on top of his cat.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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