Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
