Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You took a bar mat shot.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
