dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
