just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
