theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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