would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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