sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
