Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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