If i come over, it means nothing
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he just fucked me for my cheese..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
