I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
