You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
