Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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